When Kids Shut Down, Art Can Help
- Lynn Cukaj
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
A simple art activity that helps children feel safe, understood, and ready to grow
By Lynn Cukaj, ATR-BC, MHC-LP www.CreativeExpressionsConsulting.com
Art Therapy for Children, Teenagers and Adults
Not all kids melt down when something feels hard. Some kids go quiet after a hard day at school, and might retreat inward. Fewer words. Less eye contact. A subtle but clear shutdown.
When this happens, sometimes we immediately try to find a solution.
“What happened?”
“Let’s fix it.”
“You’ll do better next time.”
But for some kids; especially sensitive, thoughtful, or perfectionistic ones, that rush to problem-solving can feel like too much. The issue usually isn’t that they don’t know how to handle the situation. It’s that their system is overloaded.
Before learning can happen, kids need to feel emotionally met.
Why fixing things too fast can backfire
When kids shut down, it’s often a form of self-protection. Their nervous system is saying, This feels like too much right now. Jumping straight into solutions, (even kind, well-meaning ones), can feel like pressure, or like their feelings are being brushed aside.
Instead, we want to start with something as simple as, “That sounds like it was really hard,” or, "That must have really hurt," sends an important message: Feelings aren’t a problem. They’re part of the process.
A helpful way to remember this is: Emotion first. Strategy second.
A Gentle Creative Activity for When Kids Shut Down
One of the most effective ways to help kids decompress is through art with no expectations attached. Not art to “make something nice,” but instead using art as a way to express.
Draw Your Day as Weather
This works well after school, after a hard moment, or anytime a child feels closed off. You'll want to approach it nonchalantly and invitational; "If your day was the weather, what would it look like?" Have paper, crayons, markers, or colored pencils ready and set aside 10 quiet minutes.
No explanation. No lesson. No follow-up questions. There’s no “right” weather. It is important not to interpret or analyze, correct or praise the drawing. Rather, just stay curious.
What you can say:
“Tell me about this part.”
“That looks like a big storm.”
“Where were you in the picture?”
"What were you thinking to yourself?"
Art gives children some distance from their experience, similar to journaling. The storm lives on the page instead of staying bottled up inside them.
What children learn over time
When adults offer creativity before correction, it gived children an opportunity to reflect:
My feelings make sense.
Struggling doesn’t mean something is wrong with me.
I don’t have to shut down to stay safe.
Only after things have settled does it help to gently ask:
“Would you like to talk, or do you need space?”
“What do you think might help next time?”
Ending with connection
After a hard moment, kids don’t need a lecture. They need reassurance that the connection is still there.
That might look like:
Sitting quietly together
A hug
Drawing or journaling side-by-side
Doing something completely unrelated to school
The message they take with them is simple and lasting:
Even when I struggle, I’m still safe. I’m still loved. And I don’t have to handle it alone.
For more therapeutic activities and resources on how to incorporate Art Therapy into your life, read more from Lynn's Creative Expressions Blog.
Learn more about Art Therapy and Lynn Cukaj, Board Certified Art Therapist here: www.CreativeExpressionsConsulting.com
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